North american men, why are you scared of affection? I'll tell you why I think it is... it's because of a prejudice against men which women have. Women have a stereotype about men which originates from folklore passed among them over the years when they talk about us. It often isn't prettty what they have to say about us. There have been many loud voices in the feminist movement who have insisted on denigrating and scorning and demeaning men, and male affection. Many men these days are raised by single mothers, who unwittingly create the very kind of man who they dislike, by raising their boys to conform to the stereotypes which they have about men. I know one woman, for instance, who recently finished her divorce proceedings, and has been sending her boys to martial arts classes because that's what she thinks men need, in order to protect themselves. It's quite shocking, actually.

In our society, the first decade of a child's life is spent with these immersive physical interactions - they are held and caressed by their parents, they wriggle around with their siblings and friends. The next ten years is spent insisting the child unlearn all that. When a boy hits puberty, he is told that his desire to touch other people has this odd connotation. All of a sudden, it's called "sexual attraction" - and except in very few situations, if he has this desire to touch someone, people say it reflects poorly on his character. Children throughout our country are accustomed to calling this kind of touching they do with caring adults "love". Young children will see it as personal rejection if an adult refuses to pick them up and hold them. Children still adore cuddling with their parents and caregivers into their elementary school years. When the indoctrination into the adult ritual of "sexuality" starts, a boy going into his teenage years begins to conflate affection with sexual attraction. At the end of his teens, the boy will usually have learned to spurn the act of giving and receiving affection - it's seen as too socially hazardous to risk your affections being misinterpreted by others. Thus young males become brash, and distant and cold. They won't even see this attitude in themselves; they think that they are being conscientious in that they are avoiding any problems associated with people misreading their expressions and body language.

We have to set a new trend, people. This is unacceptable. Single mothers need to really be conscientous to find their children good male role models. All of us men need to be smiling at kids we pass on the street. The secret, I believe, is to make sure the next generation feels secure in accepting affection from men, and giving affection to men. Boys will then grow up and see the way forward for themselves in their own adult lives - when they have seen this kind of affection modeled.